Perspective on a wedding.

This weekend I was privileged to be an usher in my wife's niece's wedding - I guess by marriage, that makes her my niece too. Anyway, Veronica a beautiful 33 year old woman married Rob a totally cool 37 year old from her home town, Marysville, KS. This story is amazing because it absolutely proves how God makes great things come from some of our most painful life circumstances - when we are open and willing to receive His grace.
Veronica is a very bright and talented lady - valedictorian of Marysville High School in Marysville, KS. then valedictorian of Benedictine College in Atchison KS four years later. The irony of this story we find out later is that her then future husband Rob followed the exact same path just four years ahead of Veronica. So while they kinda new each other's name, they really never got to know each other and never spent time at either school together. Veronica majored in music and took her first job in Leavenworth, KS working with middle school and high school band students. She excelled there and enjoyed her time in Leavenworth very much. Things changed however, budgets were cut, Veronica was passed over in a political wrestling match for the job she really wanted and deserved so she left the Leavenworth public school system and found a job in Satanta, KS. Where in the world is Satanta, KS we all asked???? Anyway, she went because that is where the job was - but Veronica was fairly miserable way out there so far from family and friends. After a year she returned, dejected and burned out, to Marysville where she moved back in with her parents. 30 years old, highly trained and highly skilled - but unable to find that perfect position. Veronica began to work at the grade school helping where she could part time in the music department. Enjoying being back home, but also dealing with trying to figure out what she wanted to do with her life. Then in Catholic Mass one weekend she saw Rob - they began to talk. Realized they had much in common - very much in fact. Both of these 30 somethings, not yet finding their perfect mate return to their home town some 12 years later to find each other. Rob returned home to take over the family commercial realestate business. Veronica now working full time at the elementary school - their old elementary school.
The happy ending of course was this weekend when these two, really wonderful souls were united together in Holy matrimoney. It was an amazing service, an amazing reception - just a fantastic weekend all together. Mainly because these two people who were patient - waiting for God's devine guideance - and after much pain, dejection, and even failure - find each other for what seems to be the perfect union of souls. Yes I cried at the wedding, mainly because of the power of all of this - it was, quite frankly, overwhelming to think about. God is good and truely wants the best for us.
But wait there is even more to this story.....the really amazing part of the story is that Veronica had saved herself for this perfect union. The day of her wedding she removed the chastity ring she had worn all those years and replaced it with her wedding ring. And now the two become one flesh - just as God had ordained it. God is good - Life is good! What a glorious weekend!

Death is not the end - or is it?

Wow, this past week has been absolutely brutal at our church. We have lost several people - some in tragic ways and others, just the way you would want to go out. Clearly, the funerals for people who lived well, lived for Christ, were a blessing to others and die as you would expect and want to, are the best funerals. At these funerals you get to truly celebrate the life well lived - talk about all the lives touched by that person. Laugh at the funny stuff, remember the good times, because with these people, the good times far out way any bad times. Of course nobody is perfect, but these funerals are such a joy. Mainly because you know the person is in heaven, because they left the world a better place, and so many people turn out at the wedding because they respected this life so much.
Then there is the funeral of the tragic loss. MUCH to soon to die and so sudden - it takes your breath away. Not only can't you breath, but the pain of loss is so great - there is a hole, a void that leaves you doubting everything. How can this be? How could this happen? How could a God of love allow this to happen? It is so brutal, so final, so horrible. You feel so deeply for the loved ones left to deal with the loss and pain. For many of these deaths, it does not get any worse that this. At these funerals there is such a deep sadness, even a question of where is HOPE found? It strikes you at the CORE of your very soul. You begin to long for anything that can take it all back - the happy memories of the person seem to hurt worse than the bad memories. After the shock of the loss, the pain - and then the anger! The range of emotions is intense and brutal. It is with this kind of loss that the scar is so deep in our hearts that it will never ever go away. While the pain will lessen a bit over time - the memory of the loss will last forever. So where do we turn? What do we do?
God does NOT create pain and agony here on earth to teach us lessons. Life doles out the pain and agony. Life creates the loss and tragic circumstances. It is only by turning to God and the work that Jesus performed on the cross do we feel the grace and peace that only God can offer. By turning our pain, and hurt, and anger over to God - He begins to shape that pain and anger into a transformational event in our lives. He uses the entire range of human emotion to bring healing, to bring His message of love and Grace. There are no answers for why life happens the way it does. In this life there is good and there is evil. There is unexplainable circumstances. There is, at times, intolerable pain and agony. But there is HOPE! By turning to God and to Jesus Christ we find the living and everlasting water - the grace that pours from heaven to soothe our burning hearts. God takes the pain, transforms it and causes beautiful things to come from the experience. It may take us a long time to see it - but if we turn to Him and open up to these thoughts - we can truly be transformed by His Grace. A love that penetrates deep, a love that only God can provide - but we have to be willing to go to Him and seek His love and guidance in all things - but especially in times of great loss.
Death is definitely NOT the end. Death is only the beginning of life everlasting with our creator and loving God. But we have to take the steps necessary to experience a life everlasting with our God and His only son Jesus Christ! Don't wait, take the step today! For we know not when our final day on earth will come.

Hope is an ACTION and a CHOICE!

John Indermark in his book; Hope, Our longing for home, states that Hope is not a topic but rather an action and a choice. Hope is something we must strive for, we must make a choice every day to have hope. Hope is at the very center of our faith. But its blessings are not limited to the future; it's the home we long for as well as the place that's already ours within God's gracious realm.

Life is tough at times - really tough. This has been one of those weeks that causes one to ponder all sorts of things. We lost a dear friend and sister in Christ this week in a tragic automobile accident. Life is so precious, so fleeting. When sudden death occurs in this manner it is so devastating, troubling and numbing. It puts a cloud over everything, it consumes your thoughts. It causes you to cry out WHY LORD? Why this one? What is the meaning of this?

Psychologist's have tried to help us deal with our grief in life by offering the five stages of grief to somehow make sense of what we cannot comprehend. The five are; Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and acceptance. People deal with grief in many different ways. But these five stages are tried and true and help us as humans to place labels on our emotions. These are helpful labels and very REAL stages of the grieving process. We need labels, we need guidance during these times - because when we are in the midst of extreme grief, we can't always get ourselves out of the quagmire and work through these emotions without these tools for guidance. In a small way these tools provide hope that there is an end to these horrible emotions. And that is a good thing.

In this case this week we have the hope that our friend was/is a sister in Christ - so we have the promise that she is in a better place and we will see her again very soon. We have the hope that tomorrow brings new light and new beginnings. We have the hope that while life happens, and it can be really tough at times, God can make good come from tragedy. We have the Hope in Jesus Christ that death, while tragic here on earth, is not the end. So we are called to celebrate the life of believers knowing that they are now in the arms of God himself and all is well in heaven! We are called to action here on earth to keep the faith and choose the hope that only Jesus Christ can offer - even in the face of horribly tragic loss of life.

Marketing is EVERYTHING!

Have you noticed that nothing is traded, sold, acquired, communicated, educated, really nothing happens without the marketing? The truth is that no matter what you are trying to get accomplished it requires marketing to make it happen. What is marketing really? It is the communication or education of an idea, product or service to others. Telling people "what's in it for them". I believe most people lump marketing with sales and therefore the translation is lost as it pertains to the unique qualities of what marketing is all about. OK, I am in sales and from my perspective good marketing makes the sales effort so much easier. If there is a clear message being sent to the market regarding the benefits of the product or service, and if the message can differentiate the product or service from the competition then most of the sales work has already been accomplished. This is a relatively obvious concept when it comes to basic products we purchase everyday. But what about a product like new church plants? Surely you can't "sell God"?! Well there we go again confusing marketing with sales. The reality is that the target audience needs to be "educated" as to the who, what, when, where and why's of the new idea or in this case the new church plant. Of course the 4 P's of marketing are also very important - those being - Product, Pricing, Promotion and Place.
Marketing is everything and when you educate your target audience to the benefits of your product then the "close" is so much easier. In the case of planting new church's we are talking about the target audience's very salvation - that puts a whole new level of gravity on the situation doesn't it? You had better be good, better be excellent because aren't you in fact marketing on behalf of God Himself? WOW! The Good News is that we know the product works and that it will do what it says it will do - so the key is the packaging. Educating the target audience as to the benefits of eternal life is the key point, however how they get there is also very important. Is your product relevant? Is it fun?
We are in an election year and I can't let this subject end without mentioning something about the marketing by our two candidates for president - Obama and McCain. Both have very different ways to lead our great nation for the next four years. Both believe in their products, and both offer many options and services - but there is one who is educating more effectively, differentiating himself clearly and therefore leading in the poles. Yes people want change, but people don't just want change for change sake. They want positive change and they want to understand the change they are going to get. Right now Obama is doing a much better job of communicating and educating us all on his brand of change. McCain has a fine product, but he needs to hurry up and tell us how his product is going to benefit each one us.

Where there is HOPE!

These past few weeks leaves everyone asking lots and lots of questions. There is despair, frustration, anger, fear, anxiety and depression over what is happening in the markets. There are times when everything seems totally broken. However, there are things that are working very well. It is frustrating because we feel so out of control.
This issue goes WAY BEYOND Republican or Democrat - this is now a global issue effecting every country around the globe. Banks are failing all around the world. There is a credit crisis of epidemic proportion everywhere. The main issue? Human Greed. Greed on behalf of the banks and lending institutions, but also greed on behalf of the consumer who's sense of entitlement causes many of us to consume far beyond our ability to pay. We just can't say NO to ourselves. There is no delayed gratification for anything? It is one of seven deadliest sins for a reason - eventually it leads to the death of something.
Perhaps rather than doing what we always do as humans - blame someone else - we should step up and take responsibility for our own part in this mess. What have we done to contribute to the issue and what do we continue to do that perpetuates the behavior? You know if we could just be happy without having to purchase our way to happiness we probably would not be in this situation to begin with. So why can't we be happy and satisfied? Perhaps we should blame Envy? Since we blame everything else but ourselves anyway, lets blame envy for our greed. When your neighbor gets something new are you happy for him? Or are you secretly jealous about the new thing that he has that you don't? We covet what others have, which makes us jealous which leads to greed. It's a crazy circle of insanity that ultimately leads to total destruction. SO what do we need?
We need a conversion of the heart. This is a heart issue, a heart problem. We need a new focus and a drive to LIVE IN this crazy world but NOT become a part OF IT. By focusing on the needs of others and not taking ourselves so seriously - we could create positive change and good will around the world! We need to shed our self centered nature and focus on the needs of those around us. It's not that hard - why don't we start in our own families. Rather than always having to win the argument or always be right, why don't we try to seek to understand our family members before being understood. If we would start this in our own families and create positive change there, it would spread like wild fire from family to family. I think I will start by trying to please and understand my wife more.....

Who are you talking to?

Who is it that you talk to when you are "self talking"? When I was young, I had an imaginary friend - can't remember if I named my imaginary friend or not - not even sure who I thought it was. As I aged and shed childish things, I came to realize that my imaginary friend was and is GOD! What I have also come to realize is that my self-talk most often influences my self-esteem. Don't you constantly talk to yourself unconsciously? I do. As a salesman, I have to continually use self talk to build myself for the next call - especially if the previous call ended with NO! When you walk into a room full of strangers, what do you tend to think about yourself? To build more confidence you’re going to have to stop running yourself down! “As a person thinks in his heart, so is he”(Proverbs 23:7 NKJV). So whatever your self talk - let it be positive! A positive attitude influences your ability. Winners expect to win. Your perception controls your performance. If you think you will win, you probably will. If you think you won't win you probably won't. “All things are possible to him who believes” (Mark 9:23 NKJV). Have you ever heard the phrase; "trash in trash out"? One thing is for sure, you absolutely can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect different results - it simply won't happen. Does your imagination influence your aspirations? What do you dream about doing? In other words, do your dreams determine your destiny? To accomplish anything, you must first have a mission, a goal, a hope, a vision. “Where there is no vision, the people perish” (Proverbs 29:18 KJV). Do you commit your thoughts and self talk to writing? Write your ideas, your passions, your aspirations down on paper - you will be amazed at how many of them will actually come true. How do you respond when somone says something totally unexpected to you? Are you defensive? Do you mis-read the comment? Many times an off handed comment has more to do with who said it, than to whom it was said. Your interpretation generally influences your situation. For me. It’s not what happens to me that matters as much as how I choose to see it and/or react to it. The way I react will determine whether the circumstance makes me better or bitter - positive or negative. I can view everything as an obstacle or an opportunity for growth – a stumbling block or a stepping stone. “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything” (James 1:2-4 NIV).