Forgiveness

How many issues arise in your day to day life that cause you to react and respond in ways that later you regret? It is so difficult to have the discipline to always respond in a positive way, without getting emotional about the issue or topic. We all come to conclusions based on our experiences and there fore there has to be room for open discussion, agreement/disagreement, and understanding. "Seek first to understand" is a solid approach to truly understanding the other persons position. But more often we jump in with our own understanding and "wage our battle" as if it is the only way. It's my way or the highway! So how can we seek first to understand, how do we learn to forgive fully and move on?

I think Rick Warren sums it up well in his approach to forgiveness.

How to Let Go of Past Hurts
by Rick Warren

Dear friends, never avenge yourselves. Leave that to God. For it is
written, “I will take vengeance; I will repay those who deserve it,”
says the Lord. Romans 12:19 (NLT)

First, relinquish your right to get even. Leave that up to God; he’ll
take care of it (Romans 12:19). I’ve been married for thirty years
and I’m ashamed to say, I’ve hurt my wife many times. But after
thirty years, we’re still together and more in love than ever before.
Why? Because it’s not hurt that destroys relationships, it’s an
unwillingness to forgive. We’re human; we’re going to hurt each
other. But the question is, will you give up your right to get even?
And will you offer forgiveness? When you do, any hurt can be
overcome.

Second, respond to evil with good. How can you tell when you’ve
released somebody, when you’ve completely forgiven them? You can
actually pray for God to bless the person who hurt you. The Bible
says we should overcome evil with good, praying for those who hurt us
(Romans 12:21; Matthew 5:44).

Third, repeat these steps as long as necessary. Forgiveness is rarely
a one-time shot. When somebody hurts you, we tend to think about it
over and over and over. How often do you have to forgive the person?
The Apostle Peter once asked Jesus, “‘Lord, how many times shall I
forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?’ Jesus
answered, ‘I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times’”
(Mathew 18:21-22 NIV). In other words, it needs to be continual,
limitless; we shouldn’t even try to count the times we forgive, just
as Jesus doesn’t count the times he forgives us.